The 12 Days of the Feast of Holy Family

On the 1^st day of the Feast, my true love gave to me…. A Great Big Clock.

Even in families, relationships do not grow without the investment of TIME. Most spouses only spend a few minutes each day in conversation with each other, usually managing the household. Most parents only spend a few minutes each day in conversation with their children, usually correcting behavior. 

On the 2^nd day of the Feast, my true love gave to me…. Work Gloves.

Quality family life, like quality marriages, has to be WORKED at. It doesn’t just happen. The Romantic Myth of marriage supposes that all interactions will be spontaneously wonderful. Not in the real world. Family life requires skills that must be learned and practiced.

On the 3^rd day of the Feast, my true love gave to me…. A Clothes Pin.

This is to help me pin my mouth shut! Sometimes WORDS hurt worse than sticks or stones, especially when they come from people who know our weaknesses so very well. Be careful what you say, even to your family members.

On the 4^th day of the Feast, my true love gave to me….Q-Tips.

This is to clean out my ears so that I can really LISTEN better, not just wait until the other person stops speaking long enough for me to jump in. One of the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People is to seek first to understand before trying to be understood.

On the 5^th day of the Feast, my true love gave to me….A Prayer Book.

We all believe that it is good for couples and families to PRAY together. But do you? How do you pray together? It is not easy. It is awkward at first. But folks who do pray together feel that it greatly enhances their bonded-ness.

On the 6^th day of the Feast, my true love gave to me….Calendar.

One website advises couples to set a monthly date night and keep it religiously! In all honesty, you will never “find the time”. You simply must SCHEDULE IT. Over time, couples become household managers-parental units, etc. Soon marriage can seem like just another job. Parents (especially fathers) are suggested to “make dates” with each of their children to give the child undivided attention doing something the child likes to do.

On the 7^th day of the Feast, my true love gave to me….A Remote Control…

… to TURN OFF THE TV. In the average American home, the TV is on for 6 ½ hours per day. Modern technology is isolating. Everybody has their own TV, or computer, or play station, or I-Pod, or cell phone, or …People scatter to separate areas, disconnect from others, and plug into technology.

On the 8^th day of the Feast, my true love gave to me….A Bible.

God has much WISDOM about life to share with us. We need to learn it and live it, not just admire it from a safe distance. We could learn a lot from the wonderful passage we hear on the Feast of the Holy Family, Col. 3:12-21

On the 9^th day of the Feast, my true love gave to me….A Confessional.

We are sometimes clumsy and step on each others’ toes accidentally. And sometimes we can just be mean, even with the people we love. We must not be too proud to apologize, to seek forgiveness and to extend forgiveness often.

On the 10^th day of the Feast, my true love gave to me….A Cross.

This is to remind us that for love to grow, selfishness must be crucified. Selfishness is the greatest threat to family life. Dealing with it is like dying and rising.

On the 11^th day of the Feast, my true love gave to me….Pizza.

Everyone seems to show up for dinner when there is pizza. There are studies and statistics that show the importance of a family sharing meals. Sometimes you need to prime the pump and set the atmosphere. Avoid questions that can be answered in one word: What did you do today? “nuthin’” How was your day? “fine”.

On the 12^th day of the Feast, my true love gave to me….(intentionally left blank)

This is for you to figure out what your family most needs from you… and give it to them. You probably know what is most needed. Make it your resolution to do it.

Fr. Joel